Complimentary

In my previous post, I shared some hopes for 2013, ways I want to make the world a little better. Already I had the opportunity to do a few.

"Idle words are characterless and die upon utterance. Evil words rankle for a while, make contentions, and then die. But the hopeful, kind, cheering word sinks into a man’s heart and goes on bearing fruit forever. How many beautiful written words—words in book and song and story—are still inspiring men and making the world fragrant with their beauty! It is just so with the words you write, not on paper, but on the hearts of men."
The Enlargement of Life (1903) By Frederick Henry Lynch

GOAL: Compliment someone I have a hard time complimenting… and mean it.
So, without mentioning anyone by name, I have to be in regular contact with someone who has a unique ability to irritate the FIRE out of me like almost no one else. Last week, I observed him for a moment interacting with a person who was being incredibly difficult. In a moment of Zen-like clarity, I was able to truly appreciate that, as annoyed as I can get, he has two qualities I wish I had--incredible amounts of patience and an innate gentleness in dealing with people. And in the realization of those qualities, my appreciation for him grew. Then, I remembered my goals, so I took advantage of the moment, and shared my appreciation out loud, explaining to him how patient he had been with that person and telling him I wish I had that ability.

I think it made him feel good. But weirdly, it made me feel good, too. And it made me actually like him a little more. I won't say it's changed everything I feel about that guy, but it's gone a long way in helping my own patience with him grow.

Interestingly, I ran across a great article on the website "The Art of Manliness" (Yeah, I know, I am a chick, but sometimes that site has cool stuff!). It's an extensive look at the art of complimenting. A great read if you a have a few minutes for personal development. Too Seldom Heard an Encouraging Word: Why and How to Offer More Compliments.

What if we all tried to look for opportunities to offer more compliments? What a small simple thing to do, but what incredible implications it could have for making our own corners of the world a better place.

Hopes for the Year

I don't think I've ever made resolutions for a new year. I don't feel like I am good at follow through, so it has always seemed rather pointless to me. It seems to me like resolutions are made to be broken, so I  figure, "Why waste the energy thinking up and implementing it in the first place?"

That said, I read something from author/spiritualist/activist Shane Claiborne that really inspired me. He listed hopes and dreams for the year. But these weren't pipe dreams, they were real and practical, and rather than being about fixing some personal flaw, they were more about making the world a better place and living out what he believes. 

I liked it so much, I am adapting it and making it my own. If I accomplish something on this list, I will sometimes share it here. Some of these need to be done secretly or privately, so I won't share those. But where I can, I will share for my accountability and, I hope, your inspiration. Maybe this is more than I can accomplish, but even if I only get part of this accomplished, it will make the world a slightly better place, and me a better person, and that is all I can hope for for 2013.

Hopes and Dreams for 2013

Do for one person what I wish that I could do for everyone, but can’t. 

Practice resurrection. Make ugly things beautiful and bring dead things back to life. Help improve the neighborhoods I am involved with (West Central, Grant Beach with my church, and my own street, which is not part of an organized Neighborhood Assoc.). And make some cool stuff out of trash. Look for God in the unlikely places.

Interrupt death. Do something regularly to interrupt the patterns of violence, bullying, and other mean and ugly things. (Note, for S.C., his goal is to end the death penalty and fight against war, for me I think this will be more about combating sex trafficking in the U.S.)

Give more money away. And do it in a way that takes away the power of money and celebrates the power of love.

Write letters and notes to people, letting them know I am thankful for them. Write a note asking for forgiveness from someone I need to ask to forgive me.

Do something really nice – that no one sees or knows about.

Compliment someone I have a hard time complimenting… and mean it.

Pause before every potential crisis and ask: “Will this matter in 5 years?”

Get outdoors often. Enjoy things like fireflies and shooting stars. Point out the wonders of the outdoors to others. And regularly get my hands into the garden (So excited to be able to garden again, now that I have a house!!).

Learn a skill and use it for something redemptive. (This will probably be sewing, as I want to learn how to use my grandmother's sewing machine).

Rather than emphasizing the best of myself and finding the worst in others – let me work on the worst in myself and look for the best in others.

Be aware – and beware -- of blessings. Do something to abstain, fast, or delay gratification. And do something to indulge in a gift of God. Then do something to end inequality and move the world toward God’s dream for every person to have “this day our daily bread”. (Possibly also the trafficking work will come into play here, maybe also something with water filtration)

Believe in miracles. And live in a way that might necessitate one. (SOP the last few years! But something I don't want to get away from, because I never want to be so self-sufficient that I don't need to rely on God, I feel that is spiritually dangerous.)